I have debated on writing on facebook or my blog. I want to have it written down. When we adopt we always have stayed away from cognitive/brain issues. Always. It was the determinate whether we would look at a childs file or not. The needs of our children have changed through the years. Needs we once thought sounded super scary now sound very doable. Max has thalassemia. This could be super minor or he could have needed blood transfusions every 3-4 weeks. He has the minor which we are grateful. I am not going to tell you all our childrens special needs but want to explain where I am coming from. This next while is going to be about our Lottie girl. Our precious beautiful, cognitively on, loved daughter. She is wanted and loved no matter what and not for a million dollars would we have changed anything about her adoption. Ever.
Some adoptive parents say never tell anything about your child past as its their story to tell. Which is true, but this is our story also and I am going to write it down. Every detail will not be here but the journey will be. I want it written out for her to read one day how amazing she is and grateful we are. I am not doing this because I want kudos because honestly, they make uncomfortable, very. My life has never been about me nor do I want it to be, ever….I am not doing this for sympathy. This story which I do not know how it will turn out, is not sad. It’s a journey, a journey to grow and stretch. I not writing it to hear “Well, you choose this and that’s what you get”. Please delete if that’s what you are thinking because I don’t have the time or energy to waste on those thoughts. Torey or I will never ever regret what we have done with our lives concerning our children and how many. We love deeply, never make decisions lightly, sleep well and smile lots.
I am not doing this because we are some amazing parents, quite the contrary. Torey and I our two crazy people who love the Lord with all our hearts and want to see our children choose Him. We are weak and lose focus quite often. This isn’t a story of some great medical issue that is going to have lots of drama. This will be a continue journal of our adoption story, where God has chosen to take us places we never dreamed of, in fact choose purposely to never go to, until now. But Gods ways are higher than ours and I trust that. Had the doctor said “Im sorry we have to cut her leg off”. I would have been like bummer, but no big deal we will get a prosthesis and its not a huge deal. Now I know really it would be and there would be lots of emotion with that outcome, but I am just saying, it would not have stretched me. Brain cyst and/or brain anomaly, seizures, eeg, mris, child development specialist, neuro-surgeon, neurology. Those words are stretching me.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths (Pro 3:5)
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