Perspective

Let my heart be broken with the things that break God’s heart.
- Bob Pierce, World Vision founder

I'm sitting here in my house, a big house for most of the worlds standards, 2000 square feet.  I just ate Little Caesars pizza for Wyatts 14^th birthday party.  I will have a warm shower later.  My children have toys, clothes, food, water, medical and love. We go to one of the few bible believing church in our part of the country that grounds you in His word.  I can pray whenever I want to and where ever I am.  Although I do have to say we do get some awful hard looks if we are in public (like before we eat).   I am spoiled rotten.  I am humbled.  Sometimes I wonder why I am my soft bed at night while in Africa a woman lays on the dirt watching her child starve to death.  I honestly cannot imagine.   Why am I able to adopt the child that some woman may have longed for so long and cried in heartache when she had to abandon all because her government  or husband said?   Why do people look at us crossed eye because we have adopted 5 times and have 7 kids?   Why do I grieve for the least of these while some people never even open their eyes to see the issue?   Please don’t take me wrong that I am saying I am better than others.  Oh, quite the contraire.  I have many issues, many.  Like I really need to spend more time in Gods word.  I should fast more and the list goes on and on.    Sometimes I don’t understand but am peaceful knowing that God knows.  For instance, why did it take a year and a half for Torey to get a job?  Some days I cried in my lack of understanding of what was going on, but I always trusted that He knew and I sought my peace in Him.  And He always gave it, even when the answer was “no” again.   Torey and I were willing to move where the Lord would want us for his work.  We were willing to go overseas to minister or help where needed.  We opened up our hearts and lives to where, when and if He wanted us to do that.  We prayed and fasted.  We sought Him and His will only.  Move or stay, didn’t matter.  Only what He desired.  There would have been a time in my husband’s life where he would have never even allowed the idea to move, since we live on generational property.  But God changes hearts. Hallelujah.  To be molded by Him.  To be growing in Him.  To never, ever grow stagnant for Christ.  To be willing to die for Him.   We want to be fully surrendered to what He wants in our lives.  For now, that is to stay here on our generational property.  Torey got a job and he likes it.  It’s interesting as we prayed for a year and a half for a job.  A family wage job (not make a lot of moo-laa job) and He provided.  It has taught us patience in His timing.  But you know what we learned?  We learned we are willing.  Willing to do whatever he asked and we meant it.  We still meant it, but for now, this is where he has us.  And what does He want us to do here?  We will continue in the ministries in our church.  I will home school the 4 youngest and do 6 study halls a week to pay for the boys school.  Do we consider adopting again?  Is that part of the plan?  I don’t know.  I am not opposed.  But I wouldn’t want to consider it if Torey wasn’t on board or we didn’t think it was right.  I hear talk about people who are addicted to adopting and don’t understand.  I am not addicted to adopting.  But I do love a having a big family.  I do love being a Mommy and wife.  I do love doing what my Lord wants and that is most important of all.  For right now my ministry is raising this family and being a supporting wife and I am going to enjoy every single moment because this is where He has put me (for now).  : )  

I am asking you to think about this quote from William Booth

  "Will you go to His feet and place yourself entirely at His disposal?"